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Step 1: Choose a Service

E-datinghas become so popular and profitable that there are now countless online datingservices, and many of them are almost indistinguishable from one another. Inthis section, I’ll outline a few of the criteria you should use to determinewhich service is right for you. I’ve also polled my friends, my friends’friends, and some other people that my friends’ friends know, to offer reviews of some of the most popular services.

Quantity

Thenumber of active members is probably the most important factor to consider inchoosing a service. “Online community” is a hackneyed phrase, but e-datingsites really are communities. If you use a site for even a couple of weeks,you’ll start to see the same people over and over again. Sometimes, I evennotice when people update their profiles or switch their pictures. Like anycommunity, small is bad for dating. Anyone who has lived in a small town or hasattended a small college knows what I’m talking about: when there is only onebar in town, you see the same people there every night.

Thebest way to determine whether a service has enough members in your area is torun a quick profile search. Most services allow you to search without signingup. Enter your criteria and see how many people come up. You can usually onlylook at a couple hundred pictures before you eyes roll into your head, so ifyour search generates a hundred or more results, you should have enoughmaterial to keep you busy. But pay attention to the last time members loggedin—it’s usually displayed next to the picture. Members who haven’t been onlinefor more than a month have probably stopped using the service, so don’t countthem.

Niche

Ifyou have very specific requirements, overall membership does not matter as muchas the number of members who fit those requirements. For instance, if you’reonly interested in dating Jews, you may find more eligible candidates on JDatethan on Match.com, even though Match is a much larger service. There are datingsites for about every niche you can imagine, including sites for variousreligions and races, homosexuals, seniors, rich kids, swingers, Ivy Leaguegrads, specific cities, etc.

Youshould also pay attention to a site’s reputation and the type of people ittends to attract. For example, Sprint Street Networks (originally Nerve Personals)runs an online dating service for a number of publications, including Esquire,the Onion, Salon.com, Nerve.com, and the Village Voice. As a result, it tends toattract an artsy, literate, liberal crowd; it’s a great place to find artists,writers, musicians, publishers and other people in media. In contrast, LavaLifemarkets itself to young professionals more likely to wear a suit to work.

Price

E-datingcan be expensive. Most services have subscriptions that range from $20 to a $50per month. But e-dating doesn’t have to break your bank. Many services allowyou to post a profile and respond to messages for free; you only have to pay ifyou want to contact people yourself. Most services offer deals on multiplemonth packages, and some offer less expensive subscriptions with fewerfeatures. Some sites, such as Nerve and LavaLife, don’t have monthlysubscriptions at all. Instead, you need buy credits which you use to contactpeople. If you don’t contact many people, this model can be very costefficient. With the credit model, you can also take a timeout from e-datinganytime and then use your credits when you come back.

Methodology

Differentservices require people to answer different kinds of questions and havedifferent algorithms for matching up members. Nerve members have to discusstheir favorite books and the music that turns them on. eHarmony has anextensive list of multiple choice questions and claims to have a scientificmethod for matching personality types. Go with the site that requires itsmembers to disclose the kind of information that you feel is important forjudging a potential match.

Features

Everyservice touts its incredible features, but in fact, most services offer astandard suite that includes search , match , chat , wink , and hotlist .I’ll tell you what these mean in the features section. There are a few “cuttingedge” multimedia features, like voice messages and video chat, that are still uncommon, and some services claim to have specialized matching methods, but if you’reonly interested in the basics, it doesn’t much matter which service you use.

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eDating Sites

General

Gay/Lesbian

Religious

“Intimate”

Seniors