The Smartest, Hippest, Most Righteous Online Dating Guide in the History of Online Dating Guides
(if I do say so myself)
Dating is one of the most exciting periods of your life. Suddenly, there are new horizons before you, friendships flower, your personality blooms, and your sense of being a desirable person worthy of affection becomes real. This is this a time of great exhilaration, splendor,and discovery. To live it fully is to enjoy one of life’s most delightful experiences… Dating is an art, and like all arts it must be cultivated to give results.
The Art of Dating by Evelyn Millis Duvall, Ph.D., ©1958
With all due respect to Dr. Duvall, your recent dating life may not quite qualify as “one of life’s most delightful experiences”. Perhaps the following scenarios sound familiar:
- awkward evening with the socially dysfunctional son or daughter of someone your mother knows
- regrettable one-night stand with some (insert gender-specific expletive) you met at a bar
- adventures in boredom with your best friend’s co-worker’s second cousin (twice removed)
- ill-considered backsliding with your ex
- romantic night at home with your (cat/Tivo/cleaning supplies/Playstation/all of the above)
Perhaps you’re even thinking of finally giving in and trying out the “internet dating” and free personals thing. Maybe you've been holding back because you think it's just too...
- unromantic
- humiliating
- scary
- expensive
- futile
- not sure, just makes you vaguely uncomfortable
Get over yourself. It’s 2009. Internet dating has been around for over a decade. Millions of people visit e-dating sites every month. It’s the source for 12% of new marriages. E-dating spans every age, gender, religion, race in the computerized world. It’s the biggest social phenomenon since the dance club, though it has yet to spawn any new music genres.
Why do it?
Think of e-dating services as date generators, nothing more, nothing less. The screening process is better than you get at bars, especially when you’ve been drinking, but probably not as good as you get when friends set you up. The opportunities and frustrations associated with e-dating are the same as those that come with dating people whom you’ve met any other way. Whenever you go on adate, no matter how you found the date, you’re throwing the dice. If you get really, really lucky, you’ll meet your soul-mate, fall in love, and live happily ever after. If you get a little lucky, you’ll meet someone cool to date for a while. If you get unlucky, your date will be a boring, unattractive loser or worse, a charming, good-looking loser who makes your life miserable. You can take some steps to maximize your chances, but in the end, it’s always a gamble, and e-dating can’t change that. What e-dating can do, if you do it right, is fill your social calendar with dates. Some will be good, many will be bad, but each and everydate carries the possibility of changing your life. That’s why we do it.
Who the heck am I, and why I am telling you this?
Call me MJ. I’m a 33-year-old single Jewish guy in New York City. I’ve been e-dating on and off for about three years. In that time, I’ve had one happy year-long relationship, a few month long relationship lets, a little casual action, a lot of decent dates, and a few crappy ones. I’ve even made some friends along the way.
I decided to put up this site because I figured, with a touch of egotism, that other people could benefit from my experience. E-dating isn’t rocket science, but it can be a confusing process, and it takes some work to do it right. A simple, honest, practical guide might go a long way toward helping people have pleasant and successful e-dating experiences.
If you’ve been to any internet dating sites, you may know that many of them offer their own tips on creating profiles and contacting people. For example, JDate advises, Remember, your profile is the first impression you make, so put your best foot forward . Thank you JDate. Mysite offers something different: practical, real-world strategy for making your profile more appealing so that you get more responses and have better dates. I’ll also tell you about e-dating conventions, some dos and don’ts, features offered by different services, and the process of moving from the first contact to the first date.
What makes meso smart?
I’m not that smart. But I’ve done a fair amount of e-dating, thought about the process, and figured out how to improve my response rate and minimize bad dates. I’ve also helped a number of friends put together or improve their profiles. Most importantly, unlike the e-dating sites themselves, I’ll tellyou how to work the system, and I don’t hesitate to tell it how it is.
Or rather, I don’t hesitate to tell you how I see it. E-dating can be very different depending on your gender, age, location, and preferences. I’m offering one perspective, and you may find it doesn’t fit your experience very well. For instance, I know very little about the Christian dating services. But to broaden the perspective somewhat, I’ve enlisted my trusty roommate, henceforth known as TR , to weigh in occasionally with the female perspective. I’ll also call on the experiences of other friends, mostlyin New York and San Francisco, who have used various e-dating services.
Ultimately, I hope that this site will offer a lot more than the experiences of my little social circle. Every page has a comments section. I encourage you to write into share your stories, opinions, and examples of profiles that really work. I’ll try to incorporate your feedback into the site and eventually post surveys, stories, and opposing points of view.